Hippy Chick

Every day is a new challenge with my dog, who has made it past his first year of puppydom.  He is a year old and we love each other.  He has separation anxiety if I leave him behind, but they just wouldn't understand if I brought him to work.  I think he is asleep now, probably right in the middle of the bed, and since he weighs more than 60 pounds, it is always a trick trying to find a place to sleep when he does that.

 

He is such a loveable dog.  He loves people and other dogs.  He licks the cat before he goes to sleep, as the cat also sleeps in the bed.  No wonder there is no room for me! 

 

He loves to play and the obedience trainer just adores him.  He wants so much to please, but gets so excited when meeting people.  Everyone MUST have a kiss.  And there are so many smells in the store (PetSmart) that he has to sniff everything.   Did you know that there is a pitbull down in Texas that has sniffed out more drugs than any other dog?  Check it out on the web....type in I love Pitbulls.

 

Pitbulls used to be labeled the "nursemaid" dog because they were so good with kids.  They are really family dogs.  They are very loyal, just a bit rambuncous at times. 

 

You hardly ever hear the "GOOD" stories about pitbulls, only the devastating stories.  You never seem to hear the devastating stories about other breeds as they just aren't as popular.  Over 30 years ago it was common "knowledge" that you didn't want to own a german shepard because the  breed would eat your children.  And so the story goes. 

 

As the Osmonds once said (Donny in fact...yes I am showing my age)...one bad apple  doesn't spoil the whole bunch girl......same goes for pitbulls. 

 

Tell this to my neighbors.  Never mind.  I will in court on Thursday as I am going to fight the  new "dangerous dog" law they developed in this small town where they deemed they can do this because of the breed of dog.

I have my ducks in a row.

That darned ESP thing hit me again when I wasn't looking.  I was driving to work and passed the local Walmart and found myself getting angry.  I was thinking to myself, "If they raise their prices again, I am not shopping there anymore".  The whole thought was about a gallon of vinegar which I know cost $2.18 because I have bought enough gallons of the stuff trying to get the puppy piddle smell out of the carpeting.  Every week I was stopping and buying another gallon of the stuff until my house smelled so much like vinegar, I had to stop!

 

But I got angry all the same, and I hadn't even been in Walmart in weeks.  I was angry as the economy is so bad, and many people of all job brackets are losing their jobs, their homes, cars and many other items of importance to them, and Walmart is raising their prices on items. 

 

I didn't shop there for another 2 weeks after this thought, but the thought kept going through my head.  I work all day processing unemployment claims and we have 4,000 of them in the office and people are grumpy.  I don't blame them but it stresses me out, as I have to take the time to look up items on their claims instead of working on those that are ready to be completed. 

 

Then I come home to the 6.5 month old puppy who likes to escape the yard, and the neighbor lady who has no life except the one in the alcohol bottle, calls the local police.  (Yet her husband thinks nothing of bringing his drunk behind over to the fence where the puppy is and squatting down with their 3 month old in his arms, so the dog will bark......I am putting up a NO TRESPASSING sign on that side of the fence.  

 

Yes, life is stressful and the puppy still isn't housebroken, even though he is getting better about it....at times.  I started putting baking soda on the wet spots and it soaks up much of the wetness.  Looks extremely disgusting, but it works. 

 

Back to Walmart.  I went in on Saturday morning on my way to work to get more baking soda....this time the big boxes.  I stopped by the aisle that contains the vinegar.   The gallon of vinegar is now $2.38 instead of $2.18.   I am not shopping there again unless it is a dire emergency.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So here we go again, another new year.  Did you even fathom in the 80's that we would see 2008?  I sure didn't!  And once again, I will not be going out with the locals celebrating and drinking spirits, but staying home in my cozy slippers and drinking hot chocolate and searching for good tv marathons!

 

I hope you have a safe New Year's Eve and a peaceful and prosperous new year.  Prosperity is not always money, but friendship, family, and fun!

How long does it take to get over the shock of having someone in your life die within a week of talking to them on the phone?  How long does it take you to realize they are truly gone? 

I spoke to him on Friday and he sounded good.  He was going home from the hospital to be with his wife for the weekend and then back to the hospital on Monday for more tests.  By the next Friday morning, the phone was ringing before dawn, and I still in my sleeping stupor did not comprehend the words but knew my sister would be driving back home this day.  The call waiting kept beeping in, as I struggled to figure out in the dark how to transfer over to the other call, thinking it was my carpooler giving me an update for the day.  I figure it out and it is my aunt on the other line.  I tell her I am on the phone with my sister and she says okay.  I hang up the phone and continue to ready myself for the last day of the work week. 

 

I make it to work and call my aunt back to find out what is actually going on.  He is not doing well, she says.  She says they think he has Valley Fever.  She can't give me any details.  I look up Valley fever on the internet and learn it infects persons with a fungus from spores in the earth in Arizona and California desert areas, all of which I have been.  I am still confused.

 

I drive home, dropping off the carpool buddy at her farmhouse and the cell phone rings.....it is my brother who has been to the hospital during the past two weeks to visit him.  The brother who is always lost to us, who we have to hunt down by calling different restaurants in the Omaha area.  He says they have just taken him off of live support.  I get upset and stressed out.....our sister isn't here yet and I am not even home.  I have another 11 miles to go before I get home.  Then it is a 2 hour drive to Omaha from home.  This can't be happening. 

 

I make it in the door and get the cats fed when the phone rings again.  He is gone.  It has been only a half hour since our last conversation. 

 

Mother is waiting at the station for me to drop off my car and ride with her to her farm to wait for my sister before we head to Omaha.  At the same time I receive the call from our brother, she starts crying.  I show up moments later and tell her he is gone and hold her.  The man she was married to most of her life has left this world.  He gave her two of her three children and was a dad to all of them.  The man who if she would have said yes to taking him back would have come running to her, to be with her again.  Gone.

 

Mother and I wait for my sister to arrive an hour later.  She pulls into the parking area in front of the house and sees me staring out the bay window in the kitchen.  She knows she is too late without stepping out of her vehicle.  Mom waits for her to enter the house and holds her tightly in her arms as she gives her the news.

 

We plan to leave the next morning instead, since it was too late to see him, yet we wake up to a Saturday morning with 8 inches of snow blanketing the earth, making driving impossible.  We do nothing but drink coffee and smoke cigarettes the whole day.  We nap.  We eat.  We drink more coffee and smoke more cigarettes.  The news reaches us that the viewing will be on Monday and the funeral on Tuesday.  We call our employers.  We make hotel reservations.  We pack. 

 

We drive to Omaha and unload the belongings, including 3 Springer Spaniels who can't be left alone.  Their first trip from the farm to the big city and first elevator experience.  They behaved extremely well.  We dress and go to the funeral home.  Mother is there greeting those who knew him from teenage years to his mid thirties.  His new wife was there to greet the newer folks in his life. 

 

Almost every bouquet sent was red and white flowers, to celebrate his fanatical love of the Nebraska Cornhusker football team.  He was attired in his Cornhusker football attire, with a photo given to him on his 65th birthday leaning inside the casket, showing all of the group from the seventees on their way to a game.. 

 

His adopted son from his second marriage was there, she was not because she left this world before him.  His third and last wife's son and daughter were there also.  I had met the son, but the first time to meet the daughter.  Six children in all, who are children no more, have known him as a father.....only two being biological, of which I am not.  I was born to one of his best friends from high school, yet he was the one to raise me, as my father died when I was but three years of age.

I felt the need to write that Friday night when I had learned of his passing.  I wrote and wrote and wrote until it was Tuesday and had the words I wanted to repeat out loud at his funeral. 

 

The time came.  All Children sat in the front row.  A young man I had never met before went up to speak about the Navy and his duties in the service.  The information was some I had never heard.  But then, he never talked about being in the navy when I was growing up. 

 

Then it was  my turn.  I took my four pieces of stationery with me to the pulpit.  And here is what I said:

 

I was the first daughter of Gene, as he became my father when he married my mother when I was four years old.  He treated me no differently when his own children were born into this world.

 

Gene had taken a school bus and with his own two hands, converted it into a camper that slept six, had a refrigerator, stove and running water.  We took this bus camping ever summer and went to over half of the United States and Canada.  He was proud of the work he had done and it was something to be proud of. 

 

I have only ever seen him wear one hat my whole life.  This was a red cowboy hat with a big white N on the front. 

 

I wasn't an easy child to raise.  When I had done something wrong, he would sit me down to lecture me.  Yet, I would frustrate him so much during these lectures, he would say something like, "You just think you are Queen Bee around here!" and I would reply, "Well, arent I?"

 

It was Gene who taught me to drive, since my mother would have an authentic panic attack with the thought of me even getting behind the wheel.  He was calm with me, even when I nearly took out the whole side of the garage.

 

I waited patiently for football season one year.  I waited and waited until at the dinner table he finally said, "Pass the salt please", and then I took the tupperware shaker, closed the lid, made eye contact with him and tossed the shaker across the table at him to catch.  "What did you do that for?".  I replied, "It's football season and you said pass!"

 

Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special like Gene Hawkins to be a dad.  And that is why I call him dad.

 

I then sat down and cried.  My sister held me.  She who didn't have the chance to know him as I did, but wanted to.  My brother said I forgot to mention the toilet in the bus. 

 

Mother told me afterwards that someone she was sitting by had said, "If anyone else was going to get up and speak, they probably changed their mind, realizing they couldn't top that one".  I hope that wasn't the case.  I had to say what I needed to say, and share what I needed to share with the man who I knew as my dad, and deserved to know that I loved him, even when I couldn't always show it.   I know he loved me too, and now I can finally cry at our loss.

When do children appreciate their parents?  My child is a 25 year old spoiled brat.  He wasn't always this way.  It has been since he became  a "man" and the hormones changed.  I can hardly stand to be around him. 

The way he has been speaking to me in the last two weeks has not been good.  Of course, he blames it all on me, there definitely could be nothing wrong with him, like won't hold a job, etc.  It's all my fault.  I am always to blame.  I am not there for him when HE needs me, yet he won't go out of his way for anyone else, especially me.  Tonight he was really on his high and mightier than me role, and how everything is my fault.  He has been doing this for over a year now. 

Tonight I told him to never call me again.  He can't be respectful, and I can't get a word in  when he is talking because what I have to say is not as important as what he has to say, and I have had enough. 

Tough love is happening today, and for the rest of my life if need be.  I do not deserve to be treated with disrespect, especially from my son, who I raised by myself, with no help from his father. 

 

He never went without food or clothing or anything else for that matter.  He was downright cruel to me tonight, and it will be the last time I will allow this. 

 

Sorry for the burdening blog.  I am upset over this, and have held it in too long.  I will no longer let him abuse me mentally or emotionally.  He will have to find someone else to yell at.  It will not be me. 

Weather is here, wish you were beautiful.....oh wait!  That isn't Nebraska!  That is California. 

I am typing kind of slow since my fingers are defrosting.  I have just spent the last 45 minutes working on the quarter inch of ice that had me locked out of the car.  Smart thing I did last night was NOT lock the doors of the car.  Stupid thing I did was leave the de-icer and the scraper IN the car.  Not much use to someone when they can't get IN the car.

It was suggested to me to boil water.  So as I am on the phone, I start the kettle.  In the mean time I am having nicotine cravings, and of course, the cigarettes are IN the car. 

How strong are nicotine cravings?  It is easier to withdraw from Heroin I am told.   The cravings can get so strong that you will use anything to break into your car.  Thank you, MacGyver, for all of your tips throughout all of your seasons on the local television channel. 

I tried a mini hammer.  That didn't work.  I finally opted for the pizza cutter.  While on the phone, wondering how I was going to get into the car, and cutting through the ice between the door and the body of the car itself, I heard a crack. 

Yahoo!  I am in!  Start that baby up!  Turn the defrosters on.  Spray the heck out of the windshield and side windows with Preston De Icer.  Make a mental note to buy more De Icer for everyone as a Christmas present.

Forty five miserable minutes later, the windshield wipers are freed from their homes with a heck of a lot of banging.  The windshield is clear as the snow starts to fall along with the rain.  Two side windows are almost clear.  The backside of the car looks like it did when I started.  It is time for a break.  My hands ache and are stiff.  As I pound the ice as hard as I can to break it free in large chunks, I think to  myself, "I left San Diego for this?  What was I thinking?" and proceed into the house to find the camera to take pictures to show to her friends who still live there.  See what they are missing?  Nebraska!  the good life!

I am no where near ready to travel.  I haven't gotten my bags packed to spend the night at my son's in the city.  I will probably have to pack food too.  Where are my pajamas?   I better pack toilet paper too.  Never know about these bachelors. Better make it two rolls.

I am new to this site, for I just created it this past weekend.  I have other sites where I have been blogging and creating and throwing snoballs, and giving growing gifts.  I kind of like the colors on this site.  Reminds me of the colors I picked out for my bedroom when I was a mere teen.  Actually, I picked the same out for my bedroom now!  I must like these colors.

  When I paint, I use all colors, the more vibrant the better.  I paint in abstract and I like to paint on wood as a medium, or on different densities of paper.  My mother was a typesetter back in the day and always had different types of paper lying around.  I think that is where I became attached to paper.

 

On one of my blogs, I spoke about someone I met online (not in person) who I nicknamed the Muffin Man.  The Muffin Man nicknamed another of my friends that I wrote about "Cabana Boy".  Well, today in the mail, I received a package from Cabana Boy, who happens to work at Drury College in Missouri.  Inside the package was a tee shirt.  I will have to wear this shirt because on the front of the shirt it reads, "Yes, I know the Muffin Man!" and on the back it reads, " Drury University....that's on Drury Lane!"   How cute is that! 

 

Well, I need to pack an overnight bag.  I may get stranded due to harsh weather.  Want to be prepared!

I have always been rather lax on investigating the political candidates, which makes it hard for me to vote.  I always seem to find something more pressing to do with my time.  Actually, I am not sure who is running for president this year besides Hillary, who I would have voted for just because she is a woman, and I think it is time for a huge change in the government.

Being someone who was considered a minority back in the 1990's because I was a poor single woman with child, I reaped the benefits of education, the welfare system, and healthcare system.  This was also a time that the Governor of California had chosed to reduce education and the amount a person could get for a welfare check.  This was a sad time, because I knew what would happen.  Those women who used their welfare checks to survive would end up homeless and on the streets because they couldn't pay their rent.   I was not at all surprised with the news report that more women and children were ending up in the homeless shelters than they had ever seen in previous years. 

I now live in the rural area of Nebraska, where it surprises me to see all of the pro-life stickers on cars. 
Women need to unite and stand up for themselves.  If men could bear children, abortion would be legal in every bar and convenience store, and there would not be this discussion or controversy.  It is just another sick thought made up of men that want to control our lives and not let us be equal to them.  Do you really think God wanted us to be the unequal of man?  Does it say this anywhere in the bible?  I don't think it does.  But it has been pounded into our heads for most of our lives that women can't be as good as men.  Come on, Women!  If you look around you, most women have better moral values than men, and work just as hard if not harder, by going to work every day, coming home and making dinner, cleaning the house, taking the kids where they need to be, making sure they have clothes and shoes.  It's called the 2nd shift, and women who aren't married and raising their children by themselves don't even have to watch their significant other sit on the couch or take a nap while you continue to work.

This name Obama has been in circulation for awhile, and I really did not have any idea what people were talking about.  I happened to stumble upon something on the internet today with the name, and my curiosity took hold.  I read the issues, I read his background, and even though he may be 3 years younger than me, he has learned from not a plush life, but a normal life, and knows what needs to be done.  I have changed my thinking of who I will be voting for.  I am glad my curiosity took over.  I support this candidate in mind, body, and soul.

We need someone like this in the government who is on our side. 

I too, have opposed the war in Iraq since it's onset, wondering how we went to war with Iraq with the 911 tragedy was linked to Afghans, not Iraqi.  It's money, power, oil, and nothing else. That's because we have an immature person running our country right now, and maturity is not something that comes with age. 

I have always believed that women should have the choice to make up their own minds of what they want out of life, and the government should not be the hindrence of these choices.

Power to the people, not power to the government.  Since the Terminator has become the governor of California, Child Support is being paid.  My son is 25 years old now.  I don't see it, but the monies are going back into the welfare system to provide for other families, which is okay by me, as long as it is finally being paid.  Here in the state of Nebraska (I don't know about other states), if you are in arrears on your child support, your driver's license is suspended (which to me is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard......if you can't drive to work to make the money to pay the child support because of a suspended license, it is going to make it even harder to pay the child support.....didn't anyone living in this rural state think of that?)

Health care reform is badly needed in this country.  Bosnia has better health care than the United States.  I actually work for a state government entity in order to have health care coverage, and I still can't afford it.  It eats up any raise I get every year.  The doctors get richer and I get poorer.  Many companies are discriminating upon which employees they hire due to whether or not they smoke, not whether they qualify for the job, or have worked in that position for 20 years due to rising health care costs.  Large companies are hiring through temporary employment agencies so that they don't have to pay for healthcare.

I have always been a supporter of Planned Parenthood.  I even sent my son there to get contraceptives.  I didn't know of anywhere else he could go, for I knew they worked on a sliding scale.  Planned Parenthood employees were surprised when he came in looking for contraceptives for it was an oddity to have a male come in asking for such a thing. But they gave them to him.  Planned Parenthood shouldn't just be for women.  We should all be responsible, then maybe we wouldn't have to have this abortion debate.

Do we have to have oil so badly that we need to kill people over it?  It is a materialistic item, which can be replaced with fossil fuels.  Let us start using fossil fuels instead.  We have a heck of a lot of prairie grass growing in this state on the sides of the rural byways and highways that the cows can't get to.  I would be willing to recycle french fry grease if it meant my automobile could get to work on it.  I might get the sensation of hunger a little more often, but I can keep a sandwich in my car!

I don't consider myself to be a person of political intellect, but I do have an intelligent mind, and my mind is made up.  I hope you will share in my vote for Obama for President.  Because We the People deserve a break in life, and this candidate stands for all of the breaks in life we need.

So far, I have done nothing but work on this new site.  I have browsed the lists of others on this site and due to interests listed, have invited a few as friends.  It is time now to go do something else besides sit in front of this computer and create a pretty site.  This is the 4th site I have created, just the first on here.  I started one on AOL but never did finish it. 

 

There are a lot of things I haven't finished in my life.  None of them were something I was getting paid for.  It is those things that don't pay, that I don't finish.